Hail Of A Day

Dolphins are awesome!  Why do you think that they are programmed to protect us?  I’d like one of them for Christmas.

Dolphins Save Surfer From Shark Attack: Unlikely Heroes | Your America | Reader’s Digest

So what do you do if you’re eyelids gets baggier and baggier?  According to this article, the culprit is fat.  Yes, you can actually get fatter eyelids. 

So I’m going to try to find a way to sell a tiny machine that your eyes can use to do crunches.  Like the Eye-Doer, or the Eyemachine 2000.  Like every other piece of workout equipment sold on infomercials it will quickly be banished to the garage, but……it won’t take up so much space.

Why Do We Get Baggy Eyes? - Yahoo! News

In preparation for my return leg from a trip to Washington DC, I had to spin the wheel and see what type of airport security prize I would win. Sometimes it’s the beady-eyed ID checker that scrutinizes and grunts orders at you. My favorite technique they employ is when they scream over the top of your head, “FOLKS, HAVE YOUR BOARDING PASSES AND ID’S OUT AND READY”, unlike this idiot right here in front of me. This, of course, is their way of publicly scolding you for not being prepared, while simultaneously having the right to scream at you and appear to be doing a great public service for your fellow passengers.

Then there’s the one that I get quite often…

Airport Security: Here’s an Arab-looking guy, and here’s a pasty, blonde guy from the midwest. I’ll do a Sector 7 deep security scan on the farmboy so as to appear that we’re not racially profiling.

Just call me the great equalizer of justice.

Next is the one that happened to me today. It’s called “The Phantom Alarm”. I had taken off everything but my belt, which had a microscopic amount of metal on it and never sets off the security alarm. See, no matter how many times I’ve had to take off my belt in the past it’s always a little uncomfortable. People fundamentally have an emotional reaction to seeing someone take off a belt. Either it means you’re about to get romantic or you remind them of their dad about to whoop their hiney. That’s why I always feel a bit awkward during this activity.

So I went through security with my belt on and it went off. Begrudgingly, I stepped back, and violated myself and others behind me by unsheathing my belt with a quick Indiana Jones snapping motion. I’m pretty sure the small Asian woman in line behind me didn’t appreciate my flourish as I nearly popped her in the eye. So, this time I approached the detector with full confidence that I would not set off anything, as I had nothing left of metal on my entire body.

BRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGG

I said, “You gotta be kidding, I don’t have a metal plate in my head”. My parents swore to me that it was plastic, from when they dropped me on my head. (Just kidding, mom…..I know it’s a better material than plastic). The security guard just said, “Sir, please empty your pockets and step back through.”

I patted myself down and all I had in my pocket was a peppermint and my driver’s license. I looked at the agent and dejectedly shrugged. In the meantime, a metal-clad parade of people led by Mr. T walked through the detector without sounding a peep. Hopelessly, I put the mint and license in the bowl and went back through….

SILENCE

I couldn’t believe it. I thought of several lines I could say to the security guard like, “Wand me down captain, I’ve got candy pants.” or “My breath is so stanky I need titanium reinforced peppermints.” But I just walked on and am still in disbelief as to why that worked.

I still have the suspect mint in my pants. My mouth has a little of the post-nap swamp taste but I dare not put it in my mouth. I intend to send it to Stanford’s Science Department to discover this new alien technology that has the appearance of candy and metallurgical composite of steel.

I’ve got a name for it….Peppermetal!

Have men’s shoes gone too pointy?, originally uploaded by kevinhail.

I was nearly impaled by my friend’s shoe when sitting down to have a meeting at work.

Star Wars vehicle sighted, originally uploaded by kevinhail.

Doesn’t this look like the Jawa cargo transport from Star Wars? It’s actually a shuttle at Washington Dulles.

I had more fun with this.  If you have a Mac and Itunes, you can install this program that runs in the background.  Whenever you want to see the lyrics you push the shortcut key they designated and you can instantly pull up the lyrics to nearly every song.  If you have any questions about how it works, let me know.  You have to do a couple quick things to configure the first time.

Apple - Downloads - iPod + iTunes - GimmeSomeTune

This couple built an apartment in a storage area of a mall and secretly lived there for years.  Impressive, and strangely reminiscent of one of my favorite movies of all time, Mannequin.  Click on the link at the bottom to real the REAL story.

The couple who lived in a mall | Salon Life

I wondered why, so I thought you might be interested…

Over the last three nights, NBC has led its primetime Olympic coverage with synchronized diving. According to the stacks of letters that have poured into the Fourth-Place Medal Investigative Unit Headquarters, you’ve all been watching but are baffled by one facet of the competition. In that case, you’re in the right place. After successful forays into the cases of Cullen Jones’ disappearance and the identity of the hot Paraguayan, Fourth-Place Medal will today tackle the mystery of the showering divers.

After completing a dive, competitors swim to a ladder, climb out of the pool and head immediately to a bank of showers that sit adjacent to the diving boards. Then, in full view of the crowd and NBC cameras, they shower off. Divers keep their suits on, of course, usually appearing only to rinse off their hair and arms. Oftentimes, the divers will receive their scores while still showering off. What’s the purpose of this?

Theories have ranged from ‘to get the chlorine off’ to ‘they want to have fun’ — seriously, that last one is a direct quote from NBC’s diving analyst, Cynthia Potter. Neither are the reason.

Divers shower in between each dive to keep their muscles warm after getting out of the pool. The temperature of the pool water and the air are usually different (the pool is usually around 80 degrees, with the air temperature between 68 and 72 degrees). This difference can cause muscle tightness. To combat this, divers warm up in either the showers or a hot tub.

Mystery: solved. (Although we’re still a bit unclear as to why the showers are out in the open.The water cube cost over $200 million to build. They couldn’t have put a privacy wall in?!)

The mystery of the showering divers - Fourth-Place Medal - Olympics - Yahoo! Sports

China has done a remarkable job hosting these Olympics.  From the opening ceremony to the venues to everything working with great precision and perfection, they have held one of the greatest Olympics of all time.  So what’s the problem?  Communism.  In their quest to be have the perfect performance they pulled the original little girl who was to sing their anthem and replaced her with the cute, little girl above, during the opening ceremony.  But here’s the kicker, this girl just merely lip-synched to the original little girl’s voice.  The other 7 year old was considered too ugly to represent them to the world, so they deceived the world and tried to cover this up.  The communist government removed all links to the interview that was given by the organizer who told this story.

I guess what rubs me the wrong way is that all little kids are cute, in their own way.  Even if she was pudgy or crooked-toothed, would that really matter?  As one person said in this article, they could have easily saved both girls the future damage and just brought in another girl that was both cute and a good singer.  It’s just typical of a communist society to devalue life and prioritize the wrong things.  Just remember that while we watch these magnificent events in these majestic venues, the very people who built them are considered too ugly and dirty to be allowed in the city while the rest of the world is here.  As George Orwell penned in the famous anti-socialism fable, Animal Farm, “All animals are considered equal, some are just more equal than others”.

Olympic opening uses girl’s voice, not face - Olympics - Yahoo! Sports

I came across this article on MSN about how to influence people. Kind of interesting, although most of it seems contrived:

1. To seem like a team player at work …
Put up a picture of your dog (or even a friend’s pup) in your workspace. When people look at shots of a pet dog, they not only tend to presume you’re loyal, but they may also act more loyal toward you. But don’t paper your cube with canines. Research shows that too many personal shots make others perceive you as a less professional worker.

2. To appear more powerful in the office hierarchy …
Wear a chic all-black outfit to work, and don’t smile as often as you’re inclined. You’ll be seen as assertive and directed. Studies have found that people in black uniforms (like sports teams) are viewed as more dominant figures, while the act of keeping a neutral face is associated with higher status and power in a work environment.

3. To bond with the boss …
Offer to get her a hot cup of coffee — even if you’re not her assistant — and chat her up as she’s drinking it.

A recent study showed that just by holding the high-temp liquid, she’ll implicitly assume you’re an emotionally warm person — someone very likable. Just don’t hand her an iced latte or you could trigger a frosty reception.

4. To have “the talk” without making your partner flip out …
Take him to a restaurant that has soft feminine colors and furniture with few angular lines. Researchers think that simply being in this kind of an environment can influence a person to behave in a more feminine way in terms of communicating. That means that he’ll be more likely to be open and disclose his true feelings to you.

5. To make your crush fall for you on a dinner date …
Subtly touch the back of his hand as you’re reaching across the table for bread. It’s a proven way to win someone’s affection: Libraries and car dealerships have higher customer-satisfaction ratings when workers imperceptibly touch their clients. Touch activates the human desire to bond.

6. To seem more alluring when you meet a guy …
Talk about a beach vacation you took using sensual terms (e.g., “The sun felt so fabulously warm against my skin”) to paint a mental picture about the climate. According to psychologists, this seductive I-feel-like-I’m-there speech will make him associate your personality with the lush sensations you’re describing.

7. To impress a guy’s parents the first time you meet them …
Casually praise someone whom you’re certain his mom or dad holds in high esteem, such as a political figure, author, or celebrity. Experts say that as you talk about their hero in a positive light, your targets start to think about all the qualities they admire in that person. And because they’re looking at you, they’ll subconsciously link you with that person’s positive traits.

8. To make a friend out of an acquaintance …
Start mirroring her behavioral tics, like touching your hair when she touches hers. We like to see ourselves in other people. Researchers at New York University found that when you’re sitting across from someone who’s unconsciously shaking his foot, if you start moving yours in a similar but unobtrusive way, then the person feels more positive toward you.

9. Your slob roomie to clean up after herself more often …
Spray a bit of liquid all-purpose cleaner in the air right before she enters the skanky spot in question. A Dutch study recently proved that the faint smell of a cleaning product will spur people to start picking up the area around them. You can also prime her by squirting a little fluid in the bathroom sink before she goes in to use it.

An American NBA basketball player, Chris Kaman, made the decision to play for Germany in the Olympics, after filing for German citizenship based on his Grandfather’s German heritage.  On a technicality he was able to pull this off, but does it make it right?  The guy can’t even speak German.

Personally, I think it’s pretty lame.  He wasn’t good enough to make the American team so he does an end around to get into the Olympics.

What do you think?

Have passport, will dunk - Olympics - Yahoo! Sports

In case you’re not aware of this, keep an eye on it.  Georgia has a region called South Ossetia that sits on a major oil pipeline.  The US and Georgia do business with this oil.  The loss of this oil could mean a significant jump in in gas prices and even the threat of this will certainly affect the world oil prices.

Georgia: In ’state of war’ over South Ossetia - Yahoo! News

I remember reading nearly a year ago that the Olympics in China would be a potentially disastrous PR bomb for China if they didn’t get the pollution under control.  The problem with China is that they want so bad to be recognized as a superpower, that is as technologically and industrially advanced as Europe, Japan, and America, that they’re willing to run factories and build buildings at levels that create massive amounts of emissions.  On top of that, the volume of cars on the road has more than doubled in the the last 5 years.  So the air is so bad that it actually causes long-term damage to athletes who have to breathe quite a bit of it for sustained periods, such as the cyclists in this article.

Several athletes, including a notable American female runner has pulled out of the Olympics due to this concern.

There are so many things wrong with China hosting these Olympics that I don’t even no where to begin. I’ll be highlighting some of the absurdities that emerge over the coming weeks. I want to go on the record with a prediction…

Before the Olympics is over with, the Chinese communist government will commit an act that is so outlandish and infuriating to the rest of the world that it will cast a large pall over the whole memory of this event.  All the pieces are stacking up for this to happen.  At a breakneck pace, they are revoking press credentials and freedoms that were promised to journalists years ago when the Olympic selection committee decided to give them a chance.  Additionally, they are cracking down heavily on ANYONE who speaks out on China’s role in Darfur or any of their humanitarian blunders.  One of the American gold medalists, Joey Cheek, just had his Visa revoked because he is a spokesperson against the atrocities in Darfur.  Can you even believe that they have the gall to not allow a gold medalist into their country because of his beliefs? He is not a terrorist, just a well meaning guy that has compassion for a group of oppressed people.

Just wait and see.  I promise this will be eye opening to the world.  Communism doesn’t work and it certainly doesn’t lend itself nicely to freedom of speech, freedom of press, and cooperation with other countries.  Get ready to watch China make a fool out of themselves to the rest of the world.  It will certainly be more compelling than synchronized swimming.

US cyclists apologize for wearing masks - Olympics - Yahoo! Sports

Tags: China

The other day, I happened to notice that The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants was making it’s triumphant return to proudly stand over the dead bodies of the men it beat lifeless the first time around.  This got me thinking…what are my top movies that are geared towards women that wear me out: 

In no particular order:

1) Steel Magnolias
2) Thelma and Louise
3) Joy Luck Club
4) How Stella Got Her Groove Back
5) Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
6) Hope Floats
7) Where The Heart Is

I’m sure I could dig up others, but I would like to hear some comments from others.  So that this is an equal-opportunity blog, I would also like to hear from the women what male-geared movies beat them down.

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 (2008) - Production Photos - Yahoo! Movies